How to be an awesome camping buddy. Tip #1
How to be an awesome camping buddy, the story about how Bodil made me feel happy about bringing her coffee every morning.
The first thing I`ll talk about here is the magic of positive reinforcement. This is a difficult word that just means giving your camping buddy a positive reaction when he or she does something good for the team.
Does your buddy carry on through bad weather without complaining, does she fetch firewood even though you know she`s tired, does he give you that awesome tent spot that you wanted? In that case, give that person a positive reaction showing you see it and appreciate the action.
There`s only one caveat here. The positive reaction needs to be something that person perceives as positive for him or her, so you`ll need to find out what kind of reaction that person likes before you go ahead.
An example: A year ago, I was out camping with Bodil and decided to come over to her tent with morning coffee. Bodil got really happy, she talked about this coffee for weeks and even made an Instagram post about it. This made me feel very appreciated when fixing coffee, causing me to repeat that action = more coffee for Bobs.
This might seem too easy, but fact is we are social beings and for most of us it`s very important to be liked by our pack. We need to belong and know that other people see, notice and appreciate our efforts. This makes us feel good about doing them. Most people don`t exploit the potential that lies in giving the people around them the positive feedback they deserve. We think it, but we don`t say it. Give it a try it in your relationships and see how it works for you. Who knows how much coffee in ned you could bed you could be missing out on.
To read more about this, check out positive reinforcement or read about the relationship research from the Gottman institute.