How to be an awesome camping buddy. TIP #5
How to be an awesome camping buddy: how to tell someone to do the dishes without getting in an argument.
The last post I talked about how to receive critisism. This time I`ll talk a about how you can give criticism without getting in an argument.
If you live closely with someone over time, you`ll naturally get into conflicts. Let`s say your hiking buddy never cleans up, or sulks in his/her tent instead of helping when tired. Naturally you`ll want to give some feedback on this, but how do you do that without getting into a big fight?
The first tip is always to start sentences with “I”, not “you”. This makes it less likely that your buddy will receive what you say as criticism and more likely they`ll respond with understanding instead of defensiveness.
Instead of saying “You never help cleaning up after dinner”, say “I feel like you`re never cleaning up”. Instead of saying “you`re just sulking in your tent and never helping”, say “To me it seems like you`re not helping out today, I haven`t seen you outside your tent the last hours”.
The point here is to talk about yourself (“I” statements) instead of getting into assumptions about what the other person is thinking, feeling or doing (“you” statements). After all, unless we`re mind readers we have no idea what other people are thinking. Instead of wasting time on statements that might be wrong, getting into arguments about the accuracy of the statement, just talk about how you feel or how things look from your perspective.