How to be an awesome camping buddy. TIP #6
How to be an awesome camping buddy, a three step guide to give constructive criticism.
Last post I talked about using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. This post will describe how to phrase a negative feedback in order to make it easy to receive and understand. The trick here is to do here is divide the feedback into three parts:
The first part of the feedback should include a description of what the other person did. The next part should be how this made you feel or think. The last part should be what you would like the person to do instead. Here`s an example:
“I felt like you raised your voice at me when we were pitching the tent (description of incident). This made me feel really bad since I was trying to help (your thought/feeling about it), can you keep your voice down next time we get in a situation like that (an alternative)?”
The way you phrase it is dependent on your relationship with your buddy. Some people have a rough, but loving tone, for example one of my friends father is a fisherman from northern Norway. He had an employee that constantly tied the knots wrong. What my friends father did, was to walk over, show the employee the knot (description of incident), say “this is mainnskit” (how he thought/felt about it) mainskit is Norwegian dialect for “bad job” directly transalted: Mans shit. Then tie the knot right and show his employee (show an alternative).
Not everyone needs to use the kind of psychologist language I`m using, but the point is that you need to be specific about what you don`t like, say something about how you feel about it and offer an solution to the problem. If you do this at the same time as you make sure to talk from your perspective, the possibility you`ll camping buddy understands your side of the conflict increases.